Samhain Experience

I have this posted elsewhere but want to delete it there. I want to not lose it as I dont think I could perfectly re-post it again word for word so Im pasting it here.
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I wanted to share the experience DH and I had last night during our Samhain celebration.
We didnt do a formal ritual to celebrate, instead we had a mute/dumb dinner. If you are unfamiliar with this its basically a dinner to invite ancestors to join you and there is no noise made during the dinner.
You use fall fruits and veggies and there are cakes called Soul Cakes you can make as well. Plus whatever meat seems appropriete.
You use black everything...forks, plates, cups, candle, tablecloth. You only eat by candlelight and you put items representing your ancestors on the table(pictures, items of theirs or that you feel represents them,etc).
So here is how our night went....
**We couldnt do this while our boys were awake because they could never have kept quiet LOL, so we waited til they were all in bed(a little after 9p).
Once down I got the table set up and plates ready to go. We had apple slices and I made Dumb Cakes, we didnt do a full feast because it was later so it was more like Mute/Dumb dessert LOL.
After all was set up I took a sage stick and cleansed the table area as well as DH and myself. Then DH lit the candle and I turned off the light and we sat and watched the flame and looked at the pictures we'd laid out.
I recently lost my great Aunt but I dont have a picture of her but I did write her a message that I would burn later so I focused on that and in my mind I saw her face and conversations we'd had over the years. I dont know what was going on in DH's head but a lot of it had to do with his mom...he misses her terribly and she's never out of his thoughts.
I just want to say this next part is something DH and I both experienced and questioned each other about after we were in bed.
Twice, while we were focusing on our ancestors the candle flame seemed to take direction all on its own. There was no wind blowing through the house, no a/c on, we werent breathing on it.
The flame stopped flickering and pointed, literally, in the direction of our family pictures and then pointed first to DH and then to me and then back to the pictures. It did this twice during our "dinner". Different times it wasnt twice in a row.
It was really neat and definately gave us the impression someone or several someones were about and letting us know they were there and all was well.
Another thing I notced but DH didnt was the wall. There were times the flame wasnt flickering much but Id look at the wall and the top of DH's mom/grandma picture frames were moving up and down, up and down.
The other thing I noticed is that at first I was quite hot then my body went back to normal temp except around my shoulder area...felt like I had a shawl wrapped around me.
It was a VERY beautiful experience!!! Something we look forward to repeating next year.
One other thing...
When we went to burn my message to my great Aunt DH noticed that as it burned in the pan the message burned bright red. He also caught(I saw it but didnt realize it was odd cuz I dont burn paper much LOL) that the envelope itself was doing some strange burning where it would have little tiny sparks going in and out, in and out.
Overall, Im so glad we did this and look forward to do it for many years to come and especially bringing the boys into it once they are old enough to be still LOL.

Reunion & A Vent

So we had the reunion with another of Dans brothers this past weekend.

M came up with his wife K and their son, B. It was a crowded couple of days in my home. Never had that many people visiting LOL. It was a good time though. Dan was soooo happy and we all got along well,etc.

In August the last brother, also the youngest one, will be here to get married so we will have a reunion then. Im kind of hoping to do a Christmas in August type deal if possible. Since its been nearly 11 yrs I think a Christmas altogether would be great, especially since it wont be possible for everyone to be together in December.

We shall see.

Now for my vent....
In November I had the falling out with my mother and told her no contact at that time. I just had so much hurt going on I didnt want to say something I couldnt take back that would make things unfixable. Perhaps, to her, I already had....I dont know and dont care. She needed to hear my feelings about her and how she's been treating us and she said some hateful and hurtful things that she will never take back.

Nonetheless, in January I decided the boys shouldnt be seperated fully from their grandmother as they knew her and loved her. So I figured they could "write" to her i.e. me write their words. So we wrote her a letter and the boys, especially my oldest, were thrilled. Keep in mind that the mail only takes 2 days to get from here to there, maybe 3 if things are weird. I waited for a return letter figuring she would reply to the grandbabies she swore she loved and adored and only wanted the best for,etc.

Valentines week, I get cards from my grandmother for the boys and one shows up for Devinn from my mother. Where are the ones for the older two?? Do they exist? Is she being mean? What?

Oh wait...thats right, she was at my sisters house, the one she prefers to spend all her time with. So ok, I let it go that she didnt reply before leaving for sisters house.

Well, Valentines came and went and there were no cards in the mail that day either. The Monday after Valentines, they showed up. Boys were ecstatic. There was no real letter response but it was obvious, as she sent them in the first place, she knew she could now send them cards and letters. All she said in them was to eat lots of candies and have a good day and hoped my oldest was excited and getting ready for Kindergarten.

BIG FREAKIN' DEAL. They wrote her front and back filled paper and she gives them 1/2-1 paragraphs.

So I figure, better than nothing and we go on. They send her a thank you letter and write more later that week.

We have yet to recieve anything from her.

Now, you might blame work or other activities but I know thats not the case. She works 1/2 days and the only thing she does is a once a month church duty and visits with my grandparents(either them to her place or her to theirs). Occasionally something else like helping my sis if sick or whatnot.

There is NO way she doesnt have 15 mins to sit and write a letter within a day of her getting theirs and getting it out the next day. NONE WHATSOEVER!!!

I dont know what to do, keep having them write letters that will never be returned or just stop and let her drown in her own pity. My dad(parents divorced 18 yrs ago)said he'd love letters and would respond so I think Ill have them start writing him instead and let mom go for the time being but it makes me angry that she cant let whatever she's feeling go for the boys sake.

BAH, it shouldnt be this way.